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Writer's pictureDr. Dhirendra Gautam (Dr.D)

The Fear of Intimacy

Updated: Oct 6, 2022

Intimacy is all about surrendering yourself to a stranger where there is no space of privacy. And hence this is very difficult for almost every human being on this earth. Because we are all stranger to our self.


And how come a stranger can surrender to another stranger; and hence all have great fear to intimacy.



Yes, you heard right, almost every individual on this earth are stranger to themselves as most of us we do not know “Who we are?”. And unless you know about yourself, who you are? you are very well stranger to your oneself.


The 2nd important point which is very important about the Intimacy is that unless your have the intimacy with oneself, having the intimacy with others is impossible. Because other is always a stranger and just imagine if you are stranger to oneself, you do not know who you are, how you can know anything about the others and have intimacy.


Hence, almost every human being on this earth has fear of intimacy.


We are so fear full with our intimacy that we want to get into the intimacy and come out of this as quickly as possible with the feeling of fear, tiredness and guilt as if you have committed some sin.


Intimacy is a beautiful experience of love and oneness with self and others. It helps you discover piece, satisfaction and fulfilment in your life.


And once you are in intimacy with yourself you have the opportunity to discover your oneself, who you are?



It is not necessary or conditional to 1st discover your oneself and then only you can get into the intimacy with oneself and others. Both experiencing intimacy with self and the discovery of our oneself happens simultaneously. The more dipper you experience intimacy with oneself, better you understand and discover your oneself.


Both intimacy and our self-discovery are complementing with each other and at the pick of your self-discovery you experience the highest level of intimacy with oneself and your own being transforms into selflove and oneness.


At that moment you become love and each and every person start experiencing the love and intimacy just being with you in that moment without any fear.


Only a person with highest level of selflove and intimacy with oneself can get out of the fear and get into the intimacy with any other person.


Transform you fear to discover your oneself and experience the pick of intimacy with self and other in your life.


Do share your experience of fear in intimacy and how you have achieved freedom from your fear…?


My name is Dhirendra Gautam, I am a life doctor and Leadership Coach, I help Business leaders & peoples to transform their personality to discover their “Oneself” their real personality & Leadership to further transform their decision making, through a scientifically designed patented framework to empower their career and take their business to the next level of growth and success.


In this weekly newsletter, I am sharing my discoveries and experiences which I am experiencing by coaching and helping people to become a transformed Business leader, CXO, Certified Chartered Coach and a transformed human being through India Coaching Federation (ICF).

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